Renungan tentang "Ngayah": Identity and Reflection


Last Saturday, I had an honor to meet this very famous dancer from Indonesia, Mas Didik Nini Thowok
It wasn't actually a meeting it was just 7 of us bugged him in his changing room after his performance
As he is a really really nice person, we got the chance to "talk" to him
Well, it was actually like we ask questions and he answered them
Anyway...
The meeting still lingers in my mind... I learnt a lot from that few minutes meeting
And here's a glimpse of it


"Ngayah" 
a Balinese word which means giving service for a greater good in a peaceful and humble way


If only I or people can really do ngayah to any work that they are doing.
No arrogance
No claim of authority
Since, every thing, knowledge or things that we create are just merely finding ways through us
And it is an honor to be the barer, to be the presenter of that
Just like how Liz Gilbert sees her inspiration & creativity as a different entity outside of herself
Freeing her from the burden of being creative, feeing her from the burden of being "the creator"


Learn the word
As a Balinese, seeing my identity as a part of the culture in which this particular word exist
I have to re-learn it, see how the word was and is still synonymous with the people & the culture
As a citizen of the world realizing that "ngayah" is not the only currency around, there are money, politics, respects and dozens of others
I have to re-learn it and find it's place... in the world...in my life.... 


Thanks to Elly Elviana for the opportunity to meet Mas Didik
And thanks a lot to Mas Didik for bringing this thought to me
Also.... I have to mention you guys, thanks a lot to my husband & Made Adi... :)

Discussing Lies and Guilts


How does people lie?
Is the question more on the process of lying,
more on the process of the reason that shapes the lies
or more on the guilts after lying that is so immense that makes lying becomes so unacceptable or unbearable for human?

Well I think those questions worth to explore.

First the process of lying
Hmmm....
Perhaps lying is the process of altering the fact
Next, what is fact?
I can comfortably state that fact is more on perception
I know this might result in a huge debate on fact and perception
Just like, if it is only perception, how can I explain that we are living in earth, that earth has gravity, etc etc
I wont refute that, but just bare with me
Sometimes humans have shared perception about a thing, perhaps from the process of formal learning or everyday cultural learning that sips deeply into our subconscious.... Then....
in other cases, humans might also have differing perceptions on almost everything.

Ok, about lying
So, safely, it can be said that as humans, fact is strongly based and related with our perception (I didn't refute what we identified as facts here)
As a consequence, altering the fact is also somehow altering or more or less on distorting our perception about things, issues, ideas, events, etc in our world

Just like ff we perceive a thing as  monkey but then we say that it is a donkey
it is easier when it is remotely unrelated
But what if we perceive something as monkey but we don't have the chance to see the monkey clearly and then we firmly describe it as a monkey? is it lying?
Well it's not based on what we really see, I kind of monkey, might be monkey, might not be a monkey at all...
It might be... I'll let you decide... hehehe

The second, reasons that shapes the lies...

I can think of millions of reasons why people have to lie

All of them perhaps can be attributed to survival instinct

A way to keep ourselves alive (physically and mentally), keeping our wellbeing, etc etc

And people act differently to different threat to survival, 

Threat is perhaps pretty much both universal and personal in that sense

Then, the guilts as a consequence come after that

I guess it's pretty clear where does the guilt come from

It is from our mental image of our perception that knocking on our conscious for us to deal with the discrepancies of what we perceive and what we admit we perceive

The guilt itself can provoke us to react in alleviating our guilts

or...alleviating the discrepancies

So, I guess we know now why when people lie, most of the time they don't want to be acknowledged as lying

Since, it can somehow advanced their discrepancies

Making them seeing the lies can make the discrepancies become even more obvious (which is subconsciously it is actually obvious but the conscious mind suppressed it)

And... the discrepancy will ask for consolidation

Break free the suppressed subconscious issue!

I guess this is human nature, people can not have two competing perceptions of the same object on the same head

Humans do not even have the ability to keep two competing perceptions in a house (remember those quarrels over TV with your parents, spouse or mates?)

So the guilts can come and haunt human....creepy

Something that we can learn from this human nature,

Do not lie, unless.... (fill that yourselves)

Good Luck with lying... !!!

ps. a human who lies a lot and is still in mentally healthy condition might have developed a superior perception consolidation system... "superhuman" :)

The danger of stress and the power of procrastination

I am just echoing George's Champ's lecture on the power of procrastination
Damn it is so so true

I always do that
Every time I met a new challenge, I procrastinate before doing that
Just to keep my head clear

Maybe that's what I call as mood
When I am too stress about something, I become "not in the mood"

So true so true

It makes me realize that taking my PhD is just like facing myself
most of all, learn about myself
Learn about how to deal with myself

Ha ha ha
Like splitting myself into two... or more
But it is so true and it is actually what happen

Disentangle my mind before going into "confuse" state of mind
So that I will have a clear mind before taking control and "equilibrate" my mind to reach equilibrium again
I guess that also explains those sleepless night when a concept just bugged my mind

Hmmm...
When it happens, I guess I know what to do
Try to forget it won't solve the problem
It wont go
Make peace with it, say to that "thing" that I have to disentangle my mind to procrastinate a bit so I can do something with it

Hope it will stay dormant there
or
Write or type it down and come back to it later after the disentanglement and... of course procrastination

I guess procrastinating is not that bad after all
"Vacation" will be better
I get the send or "forced dormation of the bugger" from procrastination
While in vacation, I get the sense of being peace with the bugging idea...

Well, perhaps they are all the same
The main thing is that, we need to take a rest
And rest is needed to think straight
That simple... :)

wish it would be that simple in reality... have a good vacation!!!

Equilibration... A Tribute to Jean Paul Piaget (1898-1980)

Has this word died out?
Or it just wasn't successfully been adopted to the mainstream of word usage?

Equilibration comes from two words
Equilibrium and calibration
More or less it means that calibrating to get to the equilibrium
When a person learns/absorbs a new concept, the concept will not just appear and exist in the memory as a single entry
The concept will be accommodated
Then, the concept will influence or shake whatever  the concept that person has before, I think it is fair to say this stage happens when people are being confused

Then...
it is important, after experiencing this stage, the person takes control and regain the equilibrium
Later, the person is not confused again, yet already having the new concept in their mind
Calibrating from confusion to get to the equilibrium with old and new concept exist together

The beauty of this word
It makes me realize that there is a bigger thing lurking in our mind when we are confused
It gives the emphasis on the control that we are having to bring the confusion to the next stage of understanding
Active learning, at least as a state of mind

That is how people learn
New concept is built on top of, into and with the previous one
Hence, nothing can escape, the old concept is not merely a remnant, static, the untouched temple, it is an idea, a concept which is indeed, continuously being adjusted, readjusted, arranged, rearranged, shaped and reshaped as a result of a new concept(s) coming

I learn and pick up this word as I read a volume on concept of learning (I forgot the title) in 2009
There I learn also about Skinner, Vygotsky, etc
Though it was a while ago, my mind is still captured by this very word of Jean Paul Piaget on concept of learning,
Equilibration...

The strength of 'Categorization' in Media Headline

Angie Sangkal Soal BBM, Rosa: Kok   Gitu    Yah    Artis?

 [name]      denied         about                    [name]     why       like that     [partc]      artist 

                                        BlackBerry Messaging                                            (refer to actress, singer, etc)

This was a headline taken from a lawyer's (Rosa) statement
This Rosa is currently defending one of the suspects of  a very high profile corruption case in Indonesia
This 'Angie' is a witness who denies all allegations from her client's testimony

Angie was (is) happen to be a former beauty pageant winner, actress, singer(?), writer, a politician, and a member of Indonesian parliament... maybe mom, wife, daughter, female, beautiful women, etc...

Applying Antaki's (1998) framework

What does this category of "actress" doing here?

Do we need to know all the inferences of artist (refer to actress, singer, etc) here to understand this headline?

Well. basically in Indonesian context, Artist (refer to actress, singer, etc) has categorical rich inferences identity

It has the inference of people who love to be under the spotlight?

Including superfluous lifestyle, constant married-divorce sequence?.... untrusted?

Why actress instead of her other categories?

I think when we read this we will just absorb the inferences and unconsciously start to doubt this witness' credibility as a person... then in turn her court testimonial...

What a 'clever' move of a lawyer...

Considering that Angie is also a suspect in the same case and previously being reported to have an excessive shopping habit...

Sequentially and contextually, we can see what does this 'Artis' category doing here

- superflous life style

- excessive shopping habit

It won't be a surprise that they will come with

- more untrustworthy sense?

- excessive spending + fixed salary (being a member of parliament) lead to corr....ption

Yeah right...

Now, let's try to imagine if this lawyer puts 'Mom' there instead of 'Artis'... na na, It wont do i, clever!

"the beauty of inferences"... keep peeling up the layers!!!

Law and Micro-social Interaction


"Pasal 43 ayat (1) UU No 1/1974 tentang Perkawinan diubah dan menjadi "anak yang dilahirkan di luar perkawinan mempunyai hubungan perdata dengan ibunya dan keluarga ibunya serta dengan laki-laki sebagai ayahnya yang dapat dibuktikan berdasarkan ilmu pengetahuan dan teknologi dan/atau alat bukti lain menurut hukum mempunyai hubungan darah, termasuk hubungan perdata dengan keluarga ayahnya".


Revision of Indonesian law of marriage:
Basically: children who was born to unmarried parents, has a legal relationship to both of their parents' family.
For fathers, this can be proven based on legal biological evidence.


Result of DNA research improvement... :)
Later may in a few years, if it is successful, we can see it incorporated in daily conversation of Indonesian.
Just like how the British avoid racial insult in daily conversation as a result of successful law enforcement of racial insult...


So exciting, hope it's going to be successful... see you in a few years with 
"legal children, an implication of successful law enforcement in Indonesia: a study of daily conversation".... :)

18 February 2012

Reading Schegloff's Turn Organization paper yesterday...
What is TCU beginning?
It must be directed towards the ending (TCU possible completion)
And... the ending is interrelated with the internal grammar

analogy...

What is good wife?
It depends on the husband...
What kind of husband that usually gets good wife?
It depends on their interaction in the marriage...
Such a cyclical logic...

Just like asking
Is it this?
Yes... but not really...
Then it must be this one?
Hmmm... can be, but not quite there


Hwaaah...